I Am Not Julie Roys

Every time another pastor or ministry leader experiences a public moral failure, my inbox fills with the same question:

"Are you going to comment on it?"

Almost always, my answer is no.

I'm simply not interested in piling on. Shame has never transformed a single human heart, and "I told you so" has never resurrected a fallen man.

I recognize there is an important role for those who investigate abuse, expose corruption, and advocate for victims. The Church must learn how to do that work gently and justly.

But there is a world of difference between confronting evil and making a ministry out of publicly disgracing pastors for attention, clicks, or followers. My calling isn't to expose broken men. My calling is to help restore them.

I believe the early church father John Chrysostom, got it right when he said:

"The Church is a hospital, not a courtroom, for souls."

For more than a decade, pastors, missionaries, business leaders, husbands, and fathers have walked into my office carrying stories they have never told another soul. They have confessed pornography addictions, affairs, same-sex attractions, sexual abuse, hidden relationships, decades of deception, and failures they believed would destroy everything if they ever came to light.

Those stories are not mine to tell.

When a man entrusts me with the darkest chapters of his life, they are placed behind a door that has no combination. There is no code that can be guessed, manipulated, purchased, or pressured out of me. Unless someone's immediate safety is at risk, what is shared in confidence remains in confidence.

The book of Proverbs repeatedly praises this kind of trustworthiness. "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret." Again it says, "Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends."

Wisdom recognizes that not every truth is meant to become public property.

That doesn't mean I protect sin. There is an enormous difference between protecting a sinner and enabling sin. If someone is abusing others, committing crimes, or refusing to come into the light, appropriate authorities and leaders must be involved.

But I do have a word for every man that shows up for help at House of Resurrection…

If you're looking for someone to make you feel better without changing your life, you've come to the wrong place. But if you're willing to pursue radical honesty and radical transformation, I'll walk beside you as long as it takes.

Over the years, I've found that genuine freedom requires six postures.

The first is Reveal.

Healing begins where hiding ends. Secrets keep us sick. Confession is not merely admitting bad behavior; it is stepping into the light where shame loses its grip and truth begins its work.

The second is Remorse.

Too many people grieve getting caught rather than grieving the devastation their choices have caused. Genuine remorse develops empathy. It begins to see betrayal through the eyes of a wife, children, a congregation, friends, and ultimately through the heart of God.

The third is Repentance.

Repentance is much more than saying, "I'm sorry." It is a radical change of direction. Different patterns. Different habits. Different relationships. Different boundaries. A different life.

The fourth is Restitution.

Where possible, we make amends. We take responsibility without excuses. We don't demand trust back; we earn it back through consistent effort over time.

The fifth is Rituals.

Freedom is never sustained by willpower alone. It is sustained by new rhythms that reshape both the brain and the soul. Daily surrender, prayer, Scripture, confession, accountability, healthy friendships, rest, worship, exercise, and intentional practices become the architecture of a new life.

Finally comes Resurrection.

This is where so many men lose hope. They believe their failure has become their identity. But the gospel tells a different story. Jesus does not simply forgive sinners; He gives them a new name, a new heart, a new imagination, and a new future.

This is the work I want to spend the rest of my life doing.

Not exposing broken pastors, but calling them to the cross. Not managing scandals, but shepherding souls through real repentance.

Restoration is never cheap. It costs us our pride, our excuses, our secrets, our image, and sometimes even our ministry. There is no resurrection without first passing through the cross.

But after watching God restore hundreds of men, I remain convinced that no cost compares to the freedom found on the other side.

The cross is still worth carrying.

And resurrection is still worth dying for. ✝

Blaine

Resurrection Starts Here

Courses, coaching, community, and Intensives designed for lasting freedom.

Men's Freedom Intensive
A life-changing two-day experience for men ready to break free from pornography, sexual brokenness, and secrecy.

The Collective
Our weekly online brotherhood where men find encouragement, accountability, and practical tools for lasting freedom.

Katharos Masterclass
A Christ-centered pathway that combines biblical truth, practical exercises, and neuroscience to help you pursue freedom and purpose.